The first few minutes of running you don’t really notice your heartbeat and breath. The fog hasn’t release its grab over the woken city and the body breaks into wet, curling air. The city is replaced with a park, the heart is fastens up the still sleepy blood. The thoughts outrun the knocking down wind.
At some point the pain makes you slow down your steps. The air isn’t enough. You feel that the fish inside you beach itself, but I don’t stop even when it seems that the strength is almost gone. Gradually, the pain recedes and the feeling of your own body becomes the absolute sense of yourself. Something breaks down inside of you. The shell of tangible point cracks, the dot turns into a spot that fills all space inside. The time no longer exists. The breath is incredibly long, so long that you forget how to breathe.
But why do we have to give our body a signal : «I’m dying», before it starts rescuing itself to save the replacement reserves and to get new power? And where is the boundary of this strength? Why the second wind comes later and later with time?
Every day we try to bring ourselves back to life giving the signal of pain. Pain no longer seems to be so strong and the next time we have to increase it, test our shell’s patience again and again, just to be sure that «I’m here, I’m alive! I exist».
And in the end, unfortunately, we realize: the speed that will allow to escape from ourselves doesn’t exist, as well as an infinite distance, which will never make us closer to ourselves.
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